Sunday, 16 July 2017

As I Grieve, 'Maybe' Has Become A Positive Tool To Help Me Find Balance

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Via Huffington Post by Laurie Burrows Grad

When you are in the process of grieving a loss of any kind, you must avoid looking ahead into the future. You are so devastated by the loss that you cannot envision the life that might have been. Your future memories with your loved one are over, and you must find your way via the path of the present, in order to venture forward. Your need for the terra firma of certitude, clouds your thinking, and your focus must be myopically limited to the now.

I proffer that the use of the word maybe might be of help. The word maybe appeared between 1375 and 1425, derived from the late Middle English phrase "may be." It means possibly or perhaps. Maybe is the bridge between despair and hope. When you are in the midst of a journey through grief, if you look to the future, you might say "I will be alone forever," or "how will I get through this?" But if you were to say "maybe thi ngs might not be so bad," you can open a world of possible options that are more hopeful. The negative attitude in your head might be transformed so that you can now observe what lies ahead as: "maybe I will be ok," or "maybe if I go through this process, I will find joy again." Instead of being mired in unnecessary angst over what could happen, if you say "maybe," you can see a glimmer of hope on the horizon. Maybe opens one up to the possibility of change as an adventure, rather than a fearful endeavor. Maybe is the link from being afraid and stuck with the endless unconstructive internal dialogue swirling in your head, to the path that is open and full of potentially happy possibilities.

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